To Believe Or Not To Believe…

“Beliefs are thoughts you hold to be the truth”.

These thoughts color your reality and are your filters in the way you perceive the world. These beliefs are nor good nor bad.

Your Set of Beliefs become part of your system through:
Verbal explanation (what people have told you)
Modeling (you saw others behave in a certain way)
Incidents and Experience (you have your own experience and conclusions)

Let’s image that we live in 4 worlds at the same time:
1. Mental world
2. Emotional world
3. Spiritual/Energetic World
4. Physical world (print-out of the other 3 worlds)

The link between these four worlds, I could best explain by saying: Thoughts (Mental) lead to Feelings (Emotional/Spiritual), Feelings lead to Actions (Physical) and Actions lead to Results (Physical).

When you are not happy about the things you encounter in the Physical World, you could decide to do something about them. If you expect others to take control and change the situation for you, you could get disappointed.

Take control. Change the world and start with yourself.

Remeber: Your thoughts and feelings determine your behaviour. Your behaviour induces a reaction from others (action= reaction). You want a different reaction? Then start changing your actions by changing your thoughts and feelings.

Changing your thoughts might therefore mean: changing your beliefs.

There are two types of beliefs:

  • empowering beliefs (e.g. “Whatever happens, I will reach my goals”)
  • limiting beliefs (e.g. ” I can never become a rich person”, “money does not make happy”)

To be honest, we are often not even aware of our beliefs. In order to find your Set of Beliefs about a certain topic, ask yourself a couple of questions:

  • What do other people say about the topic and do I support that opinion? Example: “You need stability and security in your life”
  • Do you talk in general terms about your own opinion around the topic or do you talk in the “I” form? Example: “Everyone knows that money does not make happy”
  • How comfortable are you about moving away from your opinion about a topic? Example: your friend believes that money buys hapiness and you think money does not make happy. How willing are you to accept your friend’s opinion?
  • Does it give energy to think or talk about the topic? Example: If your belief tells you that cannot do speak in front of an audience, it will disempower you when you get to that situation. You might even feel paralysed.

If you have mixed feelings, you will also get mixed results. It is important to kind of “save guard” the positive feelings/thought/beliefs. Protect them.

The others beliefs that do not make you feel comfortable about a topic you should scrutinize. How certain are you about them being true? What is indeed your own experience? Is an incident making enough to make your belief be true? Is this what you believe always true or are there exceptions?

Be honest and dare to face the fact that some beliefs are rather “handy” and somehow save you from having to get out of your comfort zone.

Nothing has meaning, except the meaning you give to it!!

Changing believes starts by
1. Becoming Aware of them.
2. Finding the Source of them (see above)
3. Recondition them. It could be enough to neutralize them.

What could be a way of neutralizing them? Ever heard of “pleasure and pain method” or the “physical aversion therapy”?
It may look and feel strange to do, but basically it works with snapping an elastic band around your wrist upon mentioning the disempowering belief and a gentle kiss on the same wrist upon mentioning an empowering belief (the positive opposite of the disempowering believe);

I am afraid to invest my money and lose control over it or lose it all together (snap the band)
I will invest my money and be good at making it grow! (Kiss the wrist)
If you do this 3 times in a row during 20 days, you will have neutralized the disempowering belief and replaced it with the empowering belief.

It is called “cell memory”. You anker your new beliefs in your cells.

One of these weeks I will explain some more about Neuro Linguistic Patterns we have in our systems and how we can use these to become aware about our behavior and even how to change our behavior.

A great video about changing beliefs is Derren Brown: Fair and faith. Derren Brown

What are some empowering believes you have? Share them and we can learn from you and your success!

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Esther Celosse

This entry was posted in Coaching on by .

About Esther Celosse

Esther Celosse has 20 years of experience in Trust and Banking. Since 2009 she works independently as a passionate executive coach, leadership trainer and consultant.She lived and worked in the Netherlands, Curaçao, Chile, Luxembourg, Belgium and France.

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